The Truman Show

Every felt like you were just living on a TV show? I mean like really just felt like you were playing a role or character on one of those reality television shows (don't know if that is a good thing these days) and it is a marathon showing? I'm sure if you could star and direct the show you wouldn't mind but how much fun would that be?

Imagine for a second if you had theme music when you woke up, an audience to laugh and cry, cameras every where you go, and even a co star... Wait don't we have that already?

I do think sometime that we just live and don't enjoy life. Not all the time but sometimes you get that flat line feeling... The feeling of nothing.

You almost feel like your role on the show is less important and just being on the show is good enough. You feel like no matter what you do you are always on camera. Always being watched and judged. Always having to be a certain way in this scene and that scene. Always putting on a show and never cutting the cameras off.

What if for one day you turned the cameras off? What if for one day you did the opposite of what people expected? What if you woke up and  enjoyed your job or really told someone how you really felt? What if all the tweets, and wall posts didn't matter? What if what happened yesterday stayed in yesterday? What if when you cut the cameras off and looked in the mirror you saw who you really were and not the role you play everyday?

We all fall short and at times get caught up in "the world" hell we are human. The wonderful think about life is that once you realize you are really on a TV or reality show and see the cameras you can stop acting and start living. A hard a difficult thing to do but a relief and realization that can't be replaced. I hope you understand... I hope I do too.

WTH, SMH, FML, & FU

I'm not blaming myself anymore! I'm not the issue! I'm not the reason why I am alone or unhappy. I'm not going to point fingers at myself! I'm not going to be a second option for someone when I'm good enough to be the option. I'm not going to be the person people expect me to be anymore! I'm no longer going to try to mend broken hearts! I'm not going to hang myself out to dry! I'm not going to let my circumstance impact my success! 

I'm sick and tired of being a secret to people! I'm tired of knowing I deserve better! I'm tired of hoping people will understand me. I'm tired of always explaining! I'm tired of being just a thought to someone when I deserve to be a breath. I'm tired of being empty! I'm tired of people talking and not doing! I'm tired of people being tired when they really haven't done any work! I'm tired of people questioning the person I have become! 

I won't let you steal my joy anymore! I won't let you get in my head and control my thoughts! I won't let the devil win! I won't let you destroy the person I became to be! I won't let you block my blessing! I won't be the person your comfortable with! I won't cry because of you! I won't let your life become my life. I won't let you kill my spirit! I won't continue to be alive in a dead place. I won't waste time wasting it with you!

I will continue to pray! I will be the person that God has destined me to be! I will take one step so God can take two! I will continue to love hard! I will make mistakes! I will forgive! I will cry! I will find Eve! I will live and enjoy the gift of life God has given me! I will believe that God is faithful! I will do what others say can't be done! I will get hurt! I will heal! I will continue to be a great example for my seed! I will continue to feel! I will be passionate! I will continue to try! I will feel! I will be free! I will TTYL8r! I hope you understand. #DatIshKray