Plastic Surgery

Been a minute since I posted something. Almost feels like I've been in hiding like most people do after plastic surgery. I must say with so much going on & so many changes I almost talked myself into deleting my blog. I mentally got caught up with having people read what I post versus the reason why I started writing which was for me. After watching a couple of season of Nip/Tuck (can't believe I never watched that show when it was on) and reminding myself of the reason why I started this blog here I am again with all my perfect imperfections and another post.

Do we all fight with they way things are so much so that we would do anything to change it? If we could get a "reset" on things in our life would we really press the button? We put a lot into the life we live in hopes that it turns out the way we want however life happens and things don't always turn out with the sun shinning. Many of us live life with the umbrella up as we tread through the storm others try to find a quick fix. No matter the route, path, or decision you make one thing is constant and that is change. The question is why do you change?

Change is something that we can't run from. How you deal with it really leaves an impact on you and the life you want to live. People spend hours in the gym trying to change how they look and feel. People go on diets, get trainers, and even have surgery to look and/or feel a certain way. People change their entire wardrobe for a certain look or feel when they get dressed up. People even change who they are at times but for what? What is the real reason why you change? Why did you get that gym membership 1/1/2014 or change your wardrobe?

Change is good especially if you are changing for the better and changing for yourself. Change to be you and not with the crowd. Accept the change and embrace it because with change bring on revelations that you may have not seen. Change everything! Change the people, places, things, and even your prayers but change for you and not for the crowd. Be honest with yourself and change. Change for the better you.

For sometime I've tried to change for the crowd to only see the crowd move forward and I remain in the same place watching others progress. Time to change and hit my stride. It is not enough to have people see potential in you if you don't change. Time to move that potential and... change!

Grammatical Errors

Well, it is a new Year and for some it is a time to make a bunch of changes so that this year can be better than the last. Changes that will make their life 100 times better than it was before. The "New Year Resolution" is what they call it but is it really a resolution or a nice way to say that I am going to try to do something different only to go back to what I was doing last year if this doesn't work... Again. I don't know and to honest I use to be one of those people. Make a bunch of changes just to go back and do the same thing over and over again. I guess you get comfortable with what you are use to instead of being uncomfortable with the change.

So what is going to make this year different for me? I could say a lot but I would rather do more than I say so what I will do is talk about last year and how it has changed me and helped me to grow a little more. I had a lot going on last year and it truly woke me up and made some things clear about who I was, who I am, and the person I am destined to be.

As a former associate of mine pointed out to me that I was not a very honest person. She truly blasted me for some of my lies and stretching of the truth but it truly was necessary and it woke me up. As a man, the worst thing you can do is not be honest. If all people remember about you are the lies that you have told and you reputation is filled with a bunch of stories about lies you have told you are not really living and worst of all you are not being the man that God wants you to be. So saying sorry is not the route to go but realizing that you have a flaw, learning from your mistakes, and growing is all you can do. We all fall short and even in our short comings God protects us and continues to show us how great he is. He takes care of fools and babies.Be honest with yourself and emotions. Have no regrets and be a man to deal with the choices that you make. Pray and make those choices.

Another Lesson I learned is that you can't live for or through other people. Some people only exist to be a parasite on your life. Some of these people are your closet friends, family, and even people who you meet with an interest of dating or starting something serious. Whatever your process is be sure to go through it and make the best decision for you. Only if you could get a car fax on people. Some people only want you around for the role or moment that you play in their life. Once the moment is up they are up and gone. Find some friends who will stick by you and wipe ya ass or find someone to do it if you can't.

Finally, when you are happy know that the devil works harder to try to bring you down. He does everything he can because he knows that many of us live in the world. He knows that we glorify the here and now and not the Lord. He knows that if he can take us away from the masters promises and guarantees he has won. He even uses friends and family to try to tear us up and bring us down. Don't let him win. Find your joy and peace in the lord and find you someone that can see the God in you. Even when you are acting like a fool the light will still shine. We all are fighting for our spirit and mind and there is nothing better than to find someone to fight with you.

I have lives, learned, and loved. I have a peace that I have been searching for. I have a relationship with the Lord that is forever growing. I have a beautiful women in my life who makes me better every sixty-seconds of every minute. I've made some mistakes, hurt some people, and learned to live with all of that. I'm good, better, blessed and you are too!

#DatIshKray

June 16 (Part II)

I can still remember almost falling asleep after sixteen hours of driving. The trunk was filed with clothes, shoes, and hope that the next part of my life would be better than the one I'm leaving behind. As I drove the car became my life story of some sort. Every rest stop, every song, every car or truck I passed, every mile marker, every sign, every step of the way became a rebirth of some sort. It helped make the trip go by fast and also made me realize how amazing life is.

The side mirrors of the car reminded me of all the things  the past couple of years that either sneaked up on me, passed me by, or things that I let get in front of me. You check the side mirrors when you want to get over, switch lanes. You want to be sure that it is clear. Funny that  "objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear" is a constant reminder s you look in your side mirrors. Guess you do have to sometimes look back to move forward & check to see if you have a clear path or lane to switch into. May not be that easy or clear buy it is always good to check.

The rear view mirror reminded me of all the things that I passed, slowed down for to get behind or went faster to pass. This next stage of my life was a big one and I could feel it. For whatever the reason was it felt different. The release and relief of things in my past that I was moving on from and the anticipation of the new things in front of me. The closer I got to my new place the lighter I felt.

Once I arrived I got my keys to my new place, went upstairs, opened the door and laid on the floor. It was a little space but for the first time in a long time it was my space without a care in the world. It was my little peace of mind that in many cases is all we really need in life. All it took was a long ride to a not so familiar place in a car and paying attention to everything in me and around me. #DatIshKray

June 16 (Part I)

What Tupac said...

The Purge

I am convinced that balance in this life comes from the good and bad people in your life. As much as you try to be a "good" person, do the right thing, or  surround yourself with good people you soon realize that you are not immune from the bull shit. Seems like these people only exist to undermine, tear down, destroy, and just be a thorn in your ass every chance they can. Your life and tearing it down becomes the breath of fresh air they need to make it through the day.

We all know these people. They have been in your life from the begging of time. They exist in your circle of friends or you consider them a friend They are camouflaged amongst all the good and bad times that you may have had in your life. They come in and out taking different forms and types of relationships. 

They feed off of your existence and use you as a shelf, ladder, or stool at times without you even knowing it. They are you girlfriends, boyfriends, homeboys, homegirls, buddies, BFF, brothers, sisters, moms, dads, etc. These people are like slugs who just wait around for the next "thing" to happen and they have life again. Can you avoid them? Can you live with or without them? Is this God's way of reminding you that everything he created was good even these people? I wish I had the answer because at times I find myself getting caught up in whose for me and whose against me and pushing those away who should matter and paying more attention to those who could careless. 

I tend to think of these people as fishermen. They have plenty bait and time on their hands. They throw the bait in the water and wait. They either have nothing going on for themselves or they are patience enough to hang around until you take the bait. Once that happens they snatch the fish out of the water and decide if they are going to throw the fish back in or take it home and eat it. 

I think we all have been hooked maybe at least once in our lives. Whether we have been eaten or thrown back is the question. Maybe it is for me not to understand or maybe I'm thinking to much. In the end I believe that you truly only know someone for a second and even then you still don't know them. I know one thing... I'm purging their ass!

You have to be on your P's andQ's especially when it comes to the people you add to your circle. Purge the people and  things that don't belong. Hold fast and recognize those people who are in your corner to be in your corner and not to use your corner (just don't forget the one second rule). As hard as it may be you have to deal with the chaos, negativity, and drama others may bring and appreciate going through the storm that people sometimes take you through . Avoiding these people may be impossible but you can learn a lesson from them and never have to repeat that class again. So lock all your doors and windows. Cut on your security system and get your guns, knives, and bats ready. They are coming and that may be a good thing.  #DatIshKray

Get Out Of The Way

Have you ever been stuck in traffic? I mean it is one of the worst things in the world. Trying to get some where and nobody seems to have the same motivation or rush attitude that you have. You start looking at the person in the other car and start driving for them or yelling at them under your breath (gotta be careful these days). You even think about the excuse you are going to use when you arrive to your destination late. Seems like you find everything wrong about being stuck in traffic.  MAN... one of the worst feelings ever.

These days it seems like being in traffic isn't so bad after all. Seems like the more traffic you are in the better. As we live, laugh, learn, and love it seems like what we want and desire seems to increase for different reasons that are not in our control. Family, friends, relationships, advice, people, opinions, seems like everything becomes traffic. We start to let these and other things become traffic in our lives and we get stuck. Stuck in the same place, moving one step at a time, and even stopping and being idle for no reason at all. If we keep looking at others in traffic or those who want to be in traffic how will we ever see the next exit or the detour sign? While in traffic we may realize that being in traffic and being patience could be God's way of keeping you out of arms way. I guess in the end your never stuck in traffic...you are traffic.

Lately I've been in traffic but for the good reason. In a funny way I enjoy being in traffic. It gives me time to realize the importance of leaving on time or giving myself some extra time to get to whereI'm going. It is a peace that is irreplaceable amongst all the other things and people who may be rushing through all the traffic. Next to having an orgasam seeing the break in traffic and a clear path is the best feeling in the world and that will make you slap somebody. #DatIshKray

Window Seat

Have you ever  paid attention to what is outside of the window? Doesn't matter if it was long drive, a plane ride, sitting at home or train ride the view out of the window is something else. You can see so much and miss so much at the same time it can be refreshing. What if we looked at our lives the same way we look out the window view from a window?

We are all so blessed to be given a life. We go on and try to live it as best we know how. From various faiths & beliefs we hold on to these things to try to bring us some clarity to our so called life. We also live through other people and their experiences which could be good or bad. We take advice from everybody and everyone who seems to have the answer or right way to live when in fact they are looking for the same thing we are. We seem to always be on this constant quest for inspiration or something to move us in one way or the other. We often need a push of some kind to help us make it through. As we go through the ups and downs of life we sometimes forget to take a moment and look outside of the window.

Looking out of the window you can see so much. You can see how great life is as well as how fast things can change. You can also see how things change and don't remain the same. While looking out the window you can see your life flash before your eyes. You can see the start of something great or the end of something beautiful. You can see something different every time or you will end up seeing the same thing every time. Regardless of what you see that window is a glimpse of a moment that may not come again. It is a breath of fresh air that moves the trees, or a mother and daughter walking their dog. It is a father washing the car, an older couple taking a walk holding hands, a funeral, a birthday, a hug, a kiss, a laugh or a cry. Whatever that moment is that you see cherish it. It is a gift that life has given you that won't be given again. It is your moment to see life through your eyes.

I guess the beauty of the window is that you can see out. You can see different things depending on where you are going. If you look closely you can even see your reflection and many times that is more important than looking out.  Enjoy what you see and what you don't see. Enjoy the fact that you can see out of the window and enjoy that what you see is and was just for you. See life through your eyes, look out the window, and enjoy the view.