The Promise

In  life we have a couple of things that are guaranteed. One thing that is for certain is death.  No matter what you do in life you have to come to the realization that you were brought here for a purpose and when it is your time it is just that... your time. If it was in our control I think we would stretch it (it meaning our lives) out as long as we could. We love living but sometimes forget to live and forget that us being here on earth is a gift from God.

Living is a gift and giving birth is a miracle. I think that is the real reason why women (and some men) cry during the birth of a child. I think in some way those tears are an indirect reflection of the gift and the curse that we have when we are alive on this earth. We rejoice in the birth of a newborn and look forward to the challenges of being a mother and a father.    Our parental instincts kick in and we become consumed with this new life. We try to make sure that we raise our children up in a way so they won't have the same struggles o obstacles we as parents had. We rejoice!

Dying is a blessing. To know that someone who lived a life now has no more worries or pains is truly a blessing. Many times we often say that people are in a better place but really don't mean it.What we really are saying deep down on the inside is "I know my time is coming but thank God my time is not now" and that is the moment when we realize how precious life is. For whatever reason many people tend to get sad or weary at the mention of death. I wonder what those who have been judged and seen the creator would say they thought when they took their last breath. I wonder if they wished they could of had one more breath or if they realized that being alive is a miracle and death was the beautiful gift that the creator promised us all.

No matter how you look at it enjoy this life and know that this is temporary. We are only here for a little while. You will die. Some people are alive but mentally, physically, and spiritually dead and that can be worse in some cases. Think about being alive in a dead place........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... I thought the same thing. I pray that my life here is nothing like my life after life. Staying alive and living is a full time job. We can easily get consumed with the way the "world" says we should live our life. We can get attached to things, places, and even people who will eventually wither and die away. We can also cherish the day for tomorrow is never promised. We can live in the moment sometimes and feel good about right now. We can take a deep breath (the first or last one) and enjoy the gift of life and look forward to the blessing of the next one.

Holla At Ya Boy...

Dear Homeboy,

Just want to holla at ya for a second to tell ya thanks. I'm sure you already know what I am going to say but sometimes you just got to get it out.

Thanks for your son. He truly is a reflection of you. He has no opinion and is always positive. He never judges and is always east to talk to just like you. He is the perfect example of what being perfect is. You two really make a good team. I don't know how I would have made it this far without the sacrifices each of you have made. I am forever grateful.

Thanks for this wonderful life and opportunity you have given me. Everyday is not promised and each day I have on earth I am so grateful. With all that happens in this world and this life I hold on to your word and look forward to life after death. You keep a brother on his toes with all the ups and downs but I feel ya though. Gotta keep me honest and strong on ya word because it is easy to get distracted. It is easy to lean on what ya friends, homeboyz, homegirls, and everybody else try to feed ya. They will tell ya everything you want to hear and not the truth. The biggest lesson I've learned is that people will fail ya. They will use you for a period of time then throw ya back to the wolves. Good looking out and always being there for ya boy.

You really know how to have a good time and over the past couple of years my life has been filled with many good times. Living this life or "YOLO" as everyone says these days is amazing. It can get out of hand sometimes and I know that as soon as something goes wrong  "Lord help me" comes out of my mouth or "I promise I won't do it again" but please know I'm coming from a genuine place. We all fall short and I'm no different. I know it is by your grace that I am saved and I pray that you bear with ya boy as I continue to walk with ya word, fight the principalities of this word, and strive to get a better relationship with you.

Thanks for cleaning out my closet and preparing me for something greater. I can be so attached to things of this world that if it wasn't for you and ya cleaning service I probably would still have a room full of mess. People, places, and things that have no purpose or add anything to my life have been removed directly or indirectly and for that I say thanks and what a relief. The only problem is waiting for what is next. Is it someone or something that is coming that is going to blow my mind or is it your way of reminding me to be faithful and hold on to your perfect word? Whatever it is I'll be waiting.

I could say more and it I still wouldn't be able to thank you enough for all you have done and are planning on doing. I hope I'm not rambling or anything like that but I know you know my heart. As usual thanks for being my homeboy... There is none like you!

The Three Amigos

I have come to the conclusion that in this life you don't have friends. I believe that the word "friend" has become an over used word with unreachable expectations. Many times we refer to people as "our friend" and really don't know what a true friend is ourselves. Over the past couple of weeks I have tried to put my mind around what is a friend and who really are my friends. In the end I believe  that you will only have a few that will stick closer to you than any brother.

I believe that there are three type of people who you will encounter in this life. I probably am complicating things (Over the weekend I found out that I do that) but I believe that through experience you begin to develop your own interpretation of things and understanding your friend is no different then living.

There are people who want to know you. These people could really care less if you live or die. They really don;t see any good or bad in you. What they see in you is the moment. "What ever you bring to the party" people are what I like to call them. Have you ever went to a house party and didn't know anyone but the one person who invited you? It feels like a movie or something. You walk in, get introduced, and then wait to see who is going to say something to you or who you are going to say something to. It becomes a game of some sort... just for the moment. After the moment is gone so are they. Never to be seen or heard from again unless another party comes up and they remember that you are good for a round or two of Patron shots.

People who know you are a little different. This relationship/friendship has a little bit of emotions put on it. These people care about you. They marvel in your success and comfort you in the time of need. This is tricky because a lot of times these people feel like they know you enough that you owe them something. Over time these people feel obligated to be around you with you more often then not. The "we cool or just hanging" especially with women becomes a confusing conversation because it tends to end up that somebody wants more. They want to be in a different places regardless of if you want to be or not. People who know you may know you a little bit to close for comfort and use those things to get an advantage on particular situations. They get to know you well enough to use you for what you bring to the party but then  care enough to scratch your back so your can scratch theirs.

Last but not least is a friend. A friend is a brother/sister from another mother/father. These are people who unconditionally have no conditions or expectations of you. A "REAL" friend will take the good and bad that you have. You can argue with a friend and then buy them a steak afterwards. A "REAL" friend will tell you the truth not what you want to hear. A friend can hurt your feelings and you know why. As a man or women it doesn't matter how you categorize people what matters most is that you know who and what people are and know their true intent.

So in the end I guess you have to know who you are before you can really call someone your friend. They say a dog is a man's best friend. So I guess we all should go by dogs... or should we just buy a good blanket, a bible, a blow up doll, or a goat? #DatIshKray

Forrest Gump

Running is what many of us do to stay in shape. Some may argue that it is the best full body exercise ever created. No gym membership necessary, no funny color shoes, and no $600 bill for a personal trainer... You just set a goal get up and run.

We all run if you really think about it. In our life we all run for a specific reason. Death, relationships, people or situations in our life we often take off and run for our own reasons. Some may say that running is a bad thing. They would say that you shouldn't run because when you get back whatever the issue was or is will still be there. Kind of like having one to many drinks after getting laid off. You wake up the next morning not only with a headache but still laid off!

Lately I've been wanting to run. Like run and get lost somewhere where nobody knows me. Run until my legs feel like jello. Lately I've been giving so much of myself to others that I almost feel smothered. Lately I have had more fun being by myself then being with others. I do a god job putting on a mask but deep down I just want to run. Get missing... Just for a little while. Run away from all the people, places, and things (good or bad) just for a little while. I would come back... I think.

Life is so crazy!!! We have so many ups and downs it is almost depressing. I guess that is Gods way of keeping us honest and keeping balance is this perfect thing he created called life. I guess running like Forrest would be a good idea. After all at the end didn't he eventually get tired and wanted to go back home?

Running a full body exercise that can be physically and mentally refreshing. It strengthens the mind, body, and soul and sometimes it just feels damn good to run away. #DatIshKray

Dear Dee,

Funny how life, living, and loving someone never seem to have the same conversation. They always seem to be on different pages. The following will be an open letter about someone that I love, will always love and someone that I love enough to know that I can't love anymore...

I love you without thinking and by now I think you know that. In the depths of my soul and spirit I know that you are the rib that God took from Adam and made Eve. I know that loving you is as easy as breathing... you are truly my air. I love you with every breath Gods gives me a chance to live on this earth. I will love you in this life and the next and that will never change.

God did something drastic when he created you for me. He is always perfect in everything he does and this love is no exception. Loving you the way I do is drastic in the sense that it is hard to find someone that loves me the same way you do. The more I think about what was and could of been my heart sheds a tear.  I cries out for the only thing that keeps it beating and that is you.For the rest of my life I have to convince myself of two holy truths. The first is that loving you, learning how to love you, and loving you the way I do is Godly. I truly believe that what we have will never  be duplicated. 

The journey you and I have been on since God made time and air. We often go down this road of wanting each other and not being together. It has ditches, potholes, and a number of obstacles that are foreseen and others not seen at all. Many times it seems like you keep looking at the scenery and never enjoying the destination. Over time traveling down this road becomes a daunting task because it never seems like there is an exit. It is a road less traveled and filled with hopes of something drastic happening. 

Now, at the dead end of the road what to do? How can you love someone else when your heart belongs to someone? How can you be honest about how you feel when all the feelings that God wants us to feel came from someone? How can you be equally yoked with someone else when your entire being revolves around a prayer and a women named Dee? 

This life, living, and learning what love feels like since the day you came in my life has never been the same. I have learned that God does everything for a reason... I'm still trying to put my hands around this reason. I love you more then life itself. You moved me, complete me, and will always have apart of me. No more going back and forth, no more I wish conversations, and no more. I love you enough and love myself even more to know what has to be.

When God calls me I will look back and say that I knew who my Eve was. She taught me how to feel, be, and made me a better man. I will tell God thank you for his precious gift and the miracle of love. I will jump for joy that in my misunderstanding that I understand that sometimes you have to love someone enough to let go.  

I love you Dee unconditionally without conditions and I always will in this life & the next.

A Bad Sandwich

  "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he"

 Keeping a positive mind  and taking on all of the challenges that comes with life is a difficult one that alone (mentally) you can really sink. We often sometime lean on the world and not the word and forget where our help comes from.

We are human and I think that every now and then we go back and forth with the trials and tribulations that we experience directly and indirectly. Whether it is on our job, people we meet, or even what shoes to buy we tend to cloud our minds with a bunch of stuff at times that really hinder who and what God has for us and wants us to be.

If the bible is our recipe book then we have all the ingredients to make a good sandwich. From the pickles to the type of lettuce to use we should never make a bad sandwich. On the other hand, how can we make a good sandwich if we never made a bad one? Was there ever a time when you had all the ingredients to make the perfect sandwich or you always had to looking the fridge to see what you had?

I don't know about you but it seems like I never have all the ingredients. I either have bread but no meat or meat with no bread. I can go and buy what I need and make the sandwich or even make sure every time I go shopping & have the ingredients on the grocery list but really...  Making a good sandwich takes time and many of us (I may just be talking about me) don't plan or shop to make a sandwich. We would rather take the easy way out and go and order a #1-10 of that pink slime & a coke.

I guess my point is that in order to have a clear mind free from all the mess that we deal with in this life is that we have to have faith and patience. We have to keep believing that it is going to get better, be OK, and work out in the end. We have to  keep telling ourselves over and over again that in due time it will be your time. Don't get impatient when in takes to long (Drake voice).



If we take time and follow the instructions in the recipe book we would always be ready to make a good sandwich... regardless of what is in or not in the fridge. Now if only I could take my own advice I can stop making these damn chicken hot dogs.

Willy Wonka

Trying to figure out what you want in a world filled with options is a difficult task. You can pray and keep praying until ya knees turn blue and still may never be satisfied. You can read books, take advice from your friends, or even go sit on that long couch and after all that you may still end up with nothing. Is it just me or does it feel like sometimes the more you try to understand people and the relationship you want your ideas and way of thinking evolves more often then you would like? I'm a stick to my guns person but lately I've been missing the target or shooting blanks




I mean you try to understand someone for who they are, you let go a little because why not take the risk, and in the end you end up back where you started. You loose an opportunity, loose time that you can't get back, and in many cases give of yourself (the risk I was talking about) only to loose to Facebook,Twitter, or someone who was interested in the idea of being in a relationship and not the work. I have my issues like anyone else but I think for the most part if I go to the candy store I know what I want. I don't have to guess and neither does the person at the register. I may look around but in the end it will always be a candy bar in my bag... The one I knew I wanted from the moment I walked in the store.

Do we all just keep holding on to that little bit of hope that one day someone will stop tweeting, updating their status, putting their entire life on the Internet and take some time to live it? Do we all feel that one day after all the good and bad advice that we have gotten that it we just fall together. After all the books, seminars, and sermons (I said it) that our Adam or Eve will walk into our lives. I don't know but I do know that God is faithful and sometimes you have to mess up in order to clean up.

Every child knows one thing when they walk through a candy store... they want candy.  As you get older I guess the real issue is what do you really have a taste for? I do have a sweet tooth but lately I would rather squeeze milk from a cow then walk through a candy store.