Sunday, December 2, 2012

I Use To Love H.E.R.

Before I knew who she was I use to love H.E.R.
I thought that because everyone had one or was talking about one I should have H.E.R.
I thought that letting her hold my CD player would keep H.E.R.
All it did was make the other guy like H.E.R. more when she let him take mine home.

I loved H.E.R. again when she was something I wasn't use to. My same age but some older experiences made H.E.R. very special to me in a short period of time. I tried to make H.E.R. day by trying to compete with all the other older guys she had been with.

 I tried to keep H.E.R. attention by walking her to class and even riding my bike to H.E.R. house just to sit on the porch. I told H.E.R. that I loved H.E.R. and then we started to make out in H.E.R. car. 

A couple of weeks later while riding my bike to H.E.R. house I saw her sitting in the car with the other older more experienced guy.  Guess that was H.E.R. way of saying my bike wasn't big enough for H.E.R.

Around the same time that ended I saw H.E.R. She was the the total opposite of what I've had been with before. A young, fresh, and new H.E.R. that nobody knew. I saw H.E.R. and she saw me. This time I took my time because I wanted H.E.R. to see who I really was and not what she had heard. 
This was it (I thought). 
Until I saw H.E.R. 
Then I saw H.E.R, H.E.RH.E.R. and H.E.R and...

The next time I saw H.E.R a lot had change. I knew a little bit more of what I wanted H.E.R. to be. I had it all mapped out. I even went to one of those cheesy spots in the mall and laid away a ring. It was all good until I met H.E.R. 

We worked at the same place and it was great. Seemed like everyone knew H.E.R and I were an item. We were the talk of the town until I saw H.E.R. 
I was a mess. 

I had H.E.R. and wanted H.E.R. Why couldn't I have both? 
Why couldn't I have been honest and loyal to H.E.R. 
Don't know if it was because H.E.R. and I had a physical connection that was unparalleled or the fact the H.E.R and I stopped having sex in hopes of H.E.R. and I getting married. Me, H.E.R, and H.E.R. were all on different pages.
Even my mother told me to leave H.E.R. alone and get back with H.E.R. I should have listened but...

Then I met H.E.R.

I never knew anyone like H.E.R. 

I thought I had met Eve. She took all that I had in me out and showed me how good I was and how good I could be.
Confident, beautiful, strong, outspoken, passionate, driven, beautiful smile, and on H.E.R. worst day she could make the devil smile. H.E.R. and I could do nothing and it would mean the world to us both. H.E.R. entire being encompassed my every breath. We were without trying. 

Even my H.E.R. and H.E.R. husband couldn't stop what H.E.R. and I had. We were truly one. Unfortunately H.E.R. and I had to end.
Now I'm here still praying, living, and looking for H.E.R. 
I've ran into H.E.R. from time to time only to lose H.E.R. again. It probably was for the best. 
Maybe it was Karma reminding me of H.E.R. and how I treated H.E.R. back then. 
Maybe it was H.E.R. way a letting me know that I still have somethings to work on. 
Maybe it was H.E.R. and I just wasn't ready.

I think about H.E.R. everyday and moment God gives me on this earth. 

I want to meet H.E.R.
I want to miss H.E.R.
I want to surprise H.E.R.
I want to hear H.E.R.
I want to listen to H.E.R.
I truly want to be ready for H.E.R.
I truly want to be with H.E.R.
I want to love H.E.R. and be in love with H.E.R.
As soon as I know who she is.