Monday, March 26, 2012

Dear Dee,

Funny how life, living, and loving someone never seem to have the same conversation. They always seem to be on different pages. The following will be an open letter about someone that I love, will always love and someone that I love enough to know that I can't love anymore...

I love you without thinking and by now I think you know that. In the depths of my soul and spirit I know that you are the rib that God took from Adam and made Eve. I know that loving you is as easy as breathing... you are truly my air. I love you with every breath Gods gives me a chance to live on this earth. I will love you in this life and the next and that will never change.

God did something drastic when he created you for me. He is always perfect in everything he does and this love is no exception. Loving you the way I do is drastic in the sense that it is hard to find someone that loves me the same way you do. The more I think about what was and could of been my heart sheds a tear.  I cries out for the only thing that keeps it beating and that is you.For the rest of my life I have to convince myself of two holy truths. The first is that loving you, learning how to love you, and loving you the way I do is Godly. I truly believe that what we have will never  be duplicated. 

The journey you and I have been on since God made time and air. We often go down this road of wanting each other and not being together. It has ditches, potholes, and a number of obstacles that are foreseen and others not seen at all. Many times it seems like you keep looking at the scenery and never enjoying the destination. Over time traveling down this road becomes a daunting task because it never seems like there is an exit. It is a road less traveled and filled with hopes of something drastic happening. 

Now, at the dead end of the road what to do? How can you love someone else when your heart belongs to someone? How can you be honest about how you feel when all the feelings that God wants us to feel came from someone? How can you be equally yoked with someone else when your entire being revolves around a prayer and a women named Dee? 

This life, living, and learning what love feels like since the day you came in my life has never been the same. I have learned that God does everything for a reason... I'm still trying to put my hands around this reason. I love you more then life itself. You moved me, complete me, and will always have apart of me. No more going back and forth, no more I wish conversations, and no more. I love you enough and love myself even more to know what has to be.

When God calls me I will look back and say that I knew who my Eve was. She taught me how to feel, be, and made me a better man. I will tell God thank you for his precious gift and the miracle of love. I will jump for joy that in my misunderstanding that I understand that sometimes you have to love someone enough to let go.  

I love you Dee unconditionally without conditions and I always will in this life & the next.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

A Bad Sandwich

  "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he"
 Keeping a positive mind  and taking on all of the challenges that comes with life is a difficult one that alone (mentally) you can really sink. We often sometime lean on the world and not the word and forget where our help comes from.

We are human and I think that every now and then we go back and forth with the trials and tribulations that we experience directly and indirectly. Whether it is on our job, people we meet, or even what shoes to buy we tend to cloud our minds with a bunch of stuff at times that really hinder who and what God has for us and wants us to be.

If the bible is our recipe book then we have all the ingredients to make a good sandwich. From the pickles to the type of lettuce to use we should never make a bad sandwich. On the other hand, how can we make a good sandwich if we never made a bad one? Was there ever a time when you had all the ingredients to make the perfect sandwich or you always had to looking the fridge to see what you had?

I don't know about you but it seems like I never have all the ingredients. I either have bread but no meat or meat with no bread. I can go and buy what I need and make the sandwich or even make sure every time I go shopping & have the ingredients on the grocery list but really...  Making a good sandwich takes time and many of us (I may just be talking about me) don't plan or shop to make a sandwich. We would rather take the easy way out and go and order a #1-10 of that pink slime & a coke.

I guess my point is that in order to have a clear mind free from all the mess that we deal with in this life is that we have to have faith and patience. We have to keep believing that it is going to get better, be OK, and work out in the end. We have to  keep telling ourselves over and over again that in due time it will be your time. Don't get impatient when in takes to long (Drake voice).

If we take time and follow the instructions in the recipe book we would always be ready to make a good sandwich... regardless of what is in or not in the fridge. Now if only I could take my own advice I can stop making these damn chicken hot dogs.