401K or 430B

Lately I've been feeling like I am truly at a lost. I feel like all the changes that I've made to be better have created a big disconnect. From going through my phone and deleting numbers to not even calling people who at one time I wanted to talk to (referring to dating and being in a serious relationship) I just stopped talking or making the effort. It just feels like I have made a bunch of  bad investment and lost all the spunk or in the words of Austin Powers "I lost my MoJo".



Don't get me wrong I still think I got a lot going for myself but as far as being in a relationship I don't know anymore. Some people I have met (old and new) are wonderful, great, beautiful, awesome women. They have ambition, drive, and value the little things. Some of them are old friends who have recognized my growth and see a different person. The old "new and improved version" mantra that has become a gift and a curse. I know they say you should be with someone who is your best friend but in some cases that complicates things. You may end up hating the person not for wanting to be with you but for not recognizing that your friendship is more important than a possible relationship .

Other women I have met were either introduced to me by a friend or were old friends. These investments have been like making an investment with Bernie Madoff. Very promising in the begging with the outlook being very good. In the end  it is short lived or just fades away. I often blame myself for thinking to highly of myself and where I am (in life and with myself) these days. Maybe everyone is not where I am or they may be... just at a different time. Sometimes it feel like test driving a used new car... if that makes any sense. Just like in investing you have to take calculated risk or know when to back out.

I often think about when I had a good women in my life. Many times I didn't realize it. I wanted my cake the plate, fork, napkin, and eat the cake too. At a time in my life when I thought I knew what I liked but really didn't know what I wanted. Looking back I probably stayed out (no church in the wild) to long and missed out on a good women. Now I am in a relationship with Karma... ain't that a bitch.